There I was, in my best heels and garments, walking away from you.
After so much words, now just a lost breath in the open.
After so much of close to nothing, you trampled with your vacillate feet over what was almost something.
From my personal experience I can say males tend to look for three things in a woman. Support, sex, and something I, so far, have just read about.
But it seems to me you don’t need another mother, and it might not be me you take in at night, so what do you want from me?
See, I’m completely lost on that particular detail.
You’ve got a herd of females sniffin' at your ass hole, why give all the grieve to me?
Shame on you for fooling me this once, and once is all it takes.
Shame on you for not seeing that.
I’m crying over a guy, even before he got into my panties...
Is that a good or a bad sign? Does it matter?
It seems to me, as an observant, that all guys do, at some point, is make me cry.
Why bother? For bits and pieces of the real prize, if there is such a thing out there, I’m willing to go shoveling through so much shit?
Am I? Willing? They say you should trust, so you remain in line.
Who did say all we do is wait for the significant other? And who are you, you insegnificato?
Why on earth am I putting in so much energy, chasing something nobody ever promised was really there?
Have I gone blind to my own first truth? When did I start believing in something I have NO proof of?
So dear subject of the day, and it seems to be you, poor bastard, give me proof.
Ill be as power saving as I can
You and all your simplified thoughts, spreading your private chaos around for applause.
You, yes YOU, can have the ball now.
Here, catch.
But the joke was on me. Once again he let go.
The son a cunt got the ball, and he dropped it. On purpose, not knowing he is doing so.
Ah, the bliss of ignorance. Would it hurt more if you have known you are stepping all over me ?
Ill regret you. For the near future, ill regret you. And then someone else will probably come along, and then you will become one of them. Lost figures in the haze of collective memories, a lost image of a man.
And there I was, walking away.
its night out side. the silence that comes along with the dark suffocates the city.
covers it all with its thick black nothingness, same thing in the air that makes me happy when i walk alone at night.
gives me the feeling that im the only person on the face of the planet.
contradicting the empty sound of the small, so late its early, hours my room is humming, filled with sighs no one could hear. not even me.
For every time i sat alone to watch the sky turn blue and white with the sun rising, every time i watched life pass outside and let none get to the inside. the closed habitat of me serves as a senctuary at times, my four walls of privacy.
keeping me in from the rushing of days, dawning, burning, dying and night.
But this night im not alone, i have invited another to stay with me, let another stand in the eye of the storm.
A presence of something astranged in my bed is the sort of thing to keep me uneasy, alert.
i put my face to his chest and inhale deeply. within a second, like a heat wave my mind is over whelmed by the smell.
100 % pure male. the alpha type. the kind of smell you just succumb to.
his hand in my hair and i smile to myself, almost purring. taking his time, moving ever so slowly up and into my head.
like any other pleasure junkie i let myself sink into the moment. numb and blind to anything else.
Each and every cell anxious for the next stroke as you settle between my legs.
my breath is heavy and i shiver to the thought of what awaits me in your mind,
i look at eyes blackened by lust, skin moist from passion, as you hold my hands so close it hurts to move.
until i cant move at all, just obey to the will you enforce on me.
I move beneath you, streching my hands over my head and my legs across your back.
Even locked you manage to undress me, not asking and not waiting for no biblical sign.
as we kiss, i exist only in that sphere. you raise a leg of mine and lean closer to keep my eyes open and my mouth busy.
i hate you for making me feel this good, but never quite be there at the same time.
you know its me you ar touching and yet you never look, never showing a hint of recognition between us.
detached and remote, inside your own shielding world, whispering but not for me to hear. merely using me as the current attendant.
How cold your world must be, how cold and empty, as you embrace me till i loose my breath.
like you were deprived all contact befor i came along. feeding off my wormth every time we connect. every time we lay togethere on my bed.
that need, deep and demanding, exsits in me as well. the need to taste it all, devour the others body.
i get the rush when you get in me. starting low and moving up my spine. increasing as you change the rythem and every move is paralyzing.
i hate you for making me feel this good, but never wonder to ask.
yes i like it. yes i would like to have you again. and again. yes i do need this. yes i do need you.
and somehow you remain oblivious , so imencely far away.
so tell me, begging on my knees, what to do so you would see me?
And this i say, in the shape of things to come.
If we follow that road, if we dare to take the diving jump into the deep end of life.
Then there are some things you might need to know.
Please notice you are being pre-warned.
Basically i think its the heat. it drives me crazy.
no matter if its the sun above or my inner fire within. sometimes i can get so emotional i get even hotter.
And you know what happens when im hot. i get naked.
i stay in bed, lurking inside a dream about a sunny morning, some fruit and me giving you a bath.
i stay there till you awake. after you look around a bit, making sure all your limbs and organs are in right order (too much t.v i think) you remind yourself of my presence. you take one long arm to my chest, one long leg to hold me put.
all this time thinking i never notice things. like how you sent my hand right down your pants. and then into them.
i still wonder why hiding all that skin.. the wind and sun only leave their memory, not a real mark.
and yet you remain so boy-like pale. like my own private adolescent. like im forever 16.
reminds me of simpler times. the honesty you give so easily.
yes i enjoy being with you. i like all the licking and i cant wait to find out how kinky you can get. if only i could crack you open..
just a bit. let some of your self glance at what there is. just like a peeping tom.
you cool my heat, your breath on my neck, my lips find your cool cheek.
i know you like it. whenever i get around to it, you like it when i say you taste good. if only you unleash the good part of you.
the part hungry for flesh, for sweat, for skin so sensitive it burns when i touch your face with my fingers.
if only you let me sink in, feel permanent. feel content of what i got to love with.
tell me im wrong. provide me with a proof of what you want. show me some response to what i do to you when you fall asleep to soon.
no winter in the world could cool me down.
not rain or storm. my need is primal. a simple basic necessity.
just like you.